Past the Point of No Return
by Geezworld234
Summary: Revelling in that day's events they needed each other now more than ever. They both needed to learn that in order to help each other heal that boundaries my have to be crossed. Set after Meat is Murder. A bit of Sherry for the sake of it.


_**DISCLAIMER: As much as I wish I did I don't own New Tricks or The Phantom of the Opera (where the lyrics come from, they are in italics) or anything to do with them. Anyway this is set after 'Meat is Murder' and is just a little Sherry something I had to get off my chest. If you like it let me know, also I haven't forgotten my reunion fic I will update that when I get time to sit down and dedicate the time it really needs. Anyway enjoy. Gee x **_

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She had never been in such a state before, well not since she was 14 and now once again her whole life, everything she knew had crumbled. She wasn't the only one to have had home truths come to roost today. The man sat at the other end of the room hardy touching his bottled Felspar's bitter had his fair share of family secrets aired out for the world to see today. And now she was making an utter fool out of herself by blurting out something she thought she had repressed into nothing, long ago.

"Because I love you" she sobbed so hard, in fact the man she was confessing her love for struggled to hear her.

"Say what?" Was all he thought to say.

"Gerry do I really need to say it again, I love you."

The older cockney man laughed it off in embarrassment. "Sandra, you've had a tough day, we've had a bit to drink, you don't know what you are saying."

"Gerry I know exactly what I am saying, thank you very much. If today has taught me anything then it is I am crap at going it alone. I need someone. I need you."

"No you don't you just need a friend and your family." He desperately wanted to declare his mutual feelings for her but he had strong beliefs that it was either the wine, or the shock talking. Hell, it was probably everything that today had thrown at them, causing her to 'confess'.

"If today has taught either of us anything it's that family aren't what they are cracked up to be" Sandra Pullman scoffed, wiping away the final tear her eyes could shed.

"Maybe, but there is a lot you should give family credit for" he tried, knowing he was fighting a losing battle.

"For you maybe." He gazed deep into those eyes of her, those eyes that were battle weary and worn but still as beautiful to Gerry as the day he set eyes on her for the very first time.

That look was all Sandra needed, nothing else in the world mattered. Everything that had happened today was history; the memories were temporarily locked away and hidden. She looked deep into his tired eyes, silently telling him that he didn't need to worry about think he would be taking advantage of her tonight, as he wouldn't be. She wanted. She needed him just as much as he did.

_You have brought me to that moment when words run dry  
To that moment when speech disappears into silence, silence  
I have come here hardly knowing the reason why  
In my mind I've already imagined our bodies entwining  
Defenseless and silent now I am here with you  
No second thoughts, I've decided, decided  
_

Gerry moved over to the sofa where she had been sitting ever since he drove her home from the Eldridge's house of many secrets. He wiped away the last tear imprinted on her cheek, which was adamant to remain there. He moved her hair away from her face and kissed her cheek ever so delicately.

"Sandra, I love you" he whispered into her ear. "I always have."

Nothing else needed to be said, they let their bodies do the talking as they took solace in the comfort of each other.

_You have come here  
In pursuit of your deepest urge  
In pursuit of that wish which till now  
Has been silent  
Silent._

_Past the point of no return, the final threshold  
What warm unspoken secrets will we learn?  
Beyond the point of no return.  
_

Neither of them had been able to deny there was something between them, the endless flirting, teasing and care and affection that they both shared. Many times had both Sandra and Gerry imagined what would happen if they admitted the pulse that charged through the pair of them, but neither of them believed, until now, that the other felt it too. But now they were here, and Sandra had confessed, albeit not in the way she had imagined, it was the only thing that made sense right at this very minute.

_I have brought you  
That our passions may fuse and merge  
In your mind you've already succumbed to me, dropped all defenses  
Completely succumbed to me  
Now you are here with me  
No second thoughts  
You've decided  
Decided._

It had taken, shock, sorrow and loss of self awareness for them to find each other. And now as various items of clothing were being removed there was no turning back. Fate was making up for lost time, ensuring that neither of them would be lonely on this dark stormy, winter's night.

_Past the point of no return, no backward glances  
Our games of make-believe are at an end  
Past all thought of 'If' or 'When', no use resisting  
Abandon thought and let the dream descend_

_What raging fire shall flood the soul?  
What rich desire unlocks its door?  
What sweet seduction lies before us?_

They needed one another for different reasons that night, Sandra needed comfort, protection, security. She may have been a fifty something women but the tribulations and torments her family had caused her came flooding back today and they had reduced her to the teenage girl, desperate to break out and be loved. She needed reassuring that everything would be okay, that her whole life had not been a lie and there was no other person in the world that could show her better than Gerry Standing.

Gerry needed Sandra to show him he wasn't a bastard and wouldn't be tied with the same brush as those who were. She had ripped off that label years ago, but his cousins and talk of Gerry's family today, had made hi think someone had patted it back on him and it made him feel worthless. That was until Sandra Pullman came along.

They were both hurting, in different ways and for different reasons, but the family card, like some many other things tonight brought them together. Making them as one and that was what they both needed, now more than ever.

_Past the point of no return, no going back now  
Our passion play has now at last begun  
Past all thought of right or wrong, one final question  
How long should we two wait before we're one?_

Ecstasy was where the grief of today had taken them, each in desperate need of repair, even if it was just for tonight. Both of them worried as the passion exploded that there would be nowhere else for them to go. That that would be it. Neither of them had given a seconds thought to the healing they both needed from how life had treated them over the years. All their attention had been on today and what heartbreak Smithfield Market had brought with it.

Sandra couldn't be alone again, she had no idea if that meant having Gerry as a lover or just a friend but right now she didn't care, she needed him in whatever way possible.

"Don't ever leave me, Gerry." She whispered breathlessly as they lay there holding each other.

"Never" he whispered, pulling her closer and kissing the top of her head. He had no idea if she meant as a lover or a friend. But it didn't matter as he would gladly walk the length and breadth of the Earth, twice, over hot coals for Sandra Pullman and right now she needed him more than she had ever needed anyone in her entire life.

_Past the point of no return, the final threshold  
The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn  
We've passed the point of no return_

_Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime  
Lead me, save me from my solitude  
Say you'll want me with you here beside you  
Anywhere you go let me go too, that's all I ask of._

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**_I do hope this was okay, do feel free to leave me a review, if you wish. Gee :) x_**


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